Hair Today, Dread Tomorrow

Ray has jokingly mentioned the black carpet forming on our bathroom floor. It's behind the toilet. It has clogged our shower. It's in the sink, on the bedroom pillows, and it has even made its way into the kitchen. It's my hair, and it's falling out everywhere!

I tried everything I knew to keep it healthy and strong, but maybe due to hormones, medication, stress or a combination of the three, my hair just won't stop falling out.

So, I decided to do the only thing that I know that can save what little hair I have left- dread it. That's right, I am going back to having dreadlocks.

For those of you who may not know or may not remember, I had dreadlocks for about 7 years before cutting the all off. I had started my dreads back in August 2000, the same year I graduated from college. I felt that I was starting a new chapter in my life and wanted something to ground me as my life, for the next few years, would be anything but stable.

When I turned 30, I felt that I no longer needed that grounding in my life. So my dreads went away, along with 7 years of memories. (Tia is still in shock that I cut my dreads and believes that I must have been suffering some form of a midlife crisis.)

But now, dreading my hair this time around is more of an act of salvation rather then a personal journey. Realizing how much my body- along with my life- has changed now, I'm learning to accept its new needs and limitations. My hair just can not bounce back from all the changes, so I just need to find a way to help it live a new life.

Just to give you a little education here, dreadlocks are matted coils of hair which are carefully formed to create rope like strands. Unlike straight hair which is shiny like silk, dreadlocks take on the texture and appearance similar to suede. It can take anywhere from 3 to 6 months for hair to start 'dreading'. Dreadlocks can and should be washed just like regular hair and anyone of any race can have dreads.

To start the dreading process, I have braided my hair and will start twisting my hair to 'train it' as the braids grow out.

I have also started dreads in Tia's hair too. Her hair does not have as much chemical processing as mine, so her hair will most likely dread before mine.

As always, feel free to ask questions about my dreads. I always enjoy educating people on my hair and dispelling any myths surrounding dreadlocks.

The last time there will be hair in the sink.

Starting my braids.

Black and on the Rocks!

Shortly after I had my transplant, I created a 'bucket list' of things that I wanted to do now that I was given this second chance at life. One of the things on my list was to go ice skating.

Well, one night, Ray was bored and decided that we needed to go out and find something to do. He surprised both Tia and I by pulling up to the local ice rink. Tia was absolutely against going on the ice. She kept informing Ray and I that black people don't ice skate. I, myself, just feared how long it would be before I was being rushed to the hospital for breaking my leg or fracturing my skull.

Ray was very hopeful and upbeat about the whole thing.

We got on our skates and I attempted to walk around in them. (It was sort of the way a drunk person tries to walk a straight line during a sobriety test, except the drunk person would have been doing a better job at walking then I was.)

Ray guided me to the edge of the rink as little kids zipped by me. I thought for a minute if it was worth the risk of falling on my own butt if I put the tip of my skate out and tried to trip one of those little overachievers.

We stumbled onto the ice and I soon became something similar to watching an amateur try to perform a high-wire act. My arms and knees were flinging everywhere as I tried to keep my butt and the ice from becoming friends. Tia, on the other hand, took to the ice like a swan to water. You would think she had been ice skating for years the way she gracefully moved around the rink. The girl, who just 15 minutes ago wanted to go back and wait in the car, was now skating rings around me and Ray. (At this moment, I SERIOUSLY thought if it was worth the risk to try and trip Tia the next time she swooshed passed me.)

In what seemed like forever, I managed to make one loop around the rink. Ray was patient with me, but never bothered to hide his laughter as he watched his wife flap around the rink like a fish out of water.

As the night went on, I grew a bit more confident on the ice and was at least able to look like a normal human skating- although I still held on to the edges of the rink for dear life.

At some point in the evening, (although there are two different stories explaining what happened), Ray and Tia somehow collided, causing Ray to fall hard onto the ice. His head hit the ice, bounced up and then hit the ice again. He lived, but his cell phone didn't. Ray managed to walk away with a nice little gash above his right eye.

When it was time for us to go home, Tia could not stop talking about how much fun she had and how she wants to take ice skating classes and become a professional ice skater. So, our plan is to try to make it to the rink once a month and if Tia continues to get good grades we will look into enrolling her in some upcoming classes.

Ray and Tia taking a pit stop on the ice as I sat down and rested.

Tia swooshing by me on the ice.
(Damn little overachiever!)

Ray's scar.

Oktoberfest- Bring on the beer!

Yes, on Sunday, October 18th, after getting my blood drawn, Ray, Tia and I went to the one place a liver transplant recipient should never be allowed to go- Oktoberfest.

Downtown Campbell, is host to one of the best Oktoberfest in the state. The party draws over 40,000 people over the two-day event.

There were dancers dressed in authentic German folk costumes, accordion players and yodelers that had just returned from Oktoberfest in Munich. Arts and craft booths filled over two blocks of the downtown area. Then there was the food. It was everywhere! Giant fire roasted turkey legs, potato pancakes, apple strudels, liver & potato dumplings, bratwurst of every meat and size, (you could have a foot long veggie brat if you liked), and tons of homemade sauerkraut.

The fest happened to coincide with the farmer's market, so there was also fresh made hummus, eggs gathered from a chicken coop that morning, bushels of elephant garlic, (those things are huge), and loads of other fresh vegetables, fruits and flowers.

Believe is or not, this was the first time that Ray and I have celebrated Oktoberfest. We always somehow managed to be a part or busy with something else more pressing this time of the year. So, we quickly made up for the lost time by diving right into some good German beer! Below are a couple of pictures from the party.

Ray: "I like my beer like I like my women- dark."

Michelle: "I like my beer like I like my men- rich and creamy!"

Tia: " Uncle Ray! Auntie Joi! You two are just nasty!"

Mmmmmmm. . . . white meat.

(No, not my husband. Get your mind out of the gutter! I was referring to the bratwurst. It was white because it was pork. You filthy minded person. Shame on you!)

The Letter

As many of you may be aware, a while back I applied to my first juried art show. It is call the One of a Kind Show, and is held in Chicago and Canada every year. I had never planned to apply because the entry fee was so high for those who got accepted, ($2,000+). But through a partnership with Etsy.com, the One of a Kind Show was allowing a few unknown designers in for the incredibly low price of just $500. So, with encouragement from my hubby, I applied to the show in Chicago.

Last week I opened my email to find this lovely letter waiting for me from the One of a Kind Show:

Dear 2009 Etsy Artist Pavilion Applicant,

Thank you very much for applying to the 2009 One of a Kind Show & Sale® – Etsy Artist Pavilion.

Over the last few weeks, the jury committee viewed all images and information submitted by each Etsy.com applicant. The applications were judged by category, quality and diversity of the work as well as on the professional experience each artist had in their specific field.

Unfortunately, we are not able to accept your application this year. While we would like to take every artist into the show, space and category limitations prevent us from having the ability to do so.

We thank you for applying to this year’s pavilion, and we encourage you to check our website in January of 2010 for future application postings www.oneofakindshow.com.

Thank you very much for your participation in the application process.

Best Regards, Kim Runner
Director of Sales Chicago

Yup, my first rejection letter. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't cry. Not that I was conceded enough to think they would just be wowed by my work, but I did hope they would like it enough to count me in. Ray, ever the caring husband, called the judges all sorts of creative names and came to the conclusion that they are all idiots at that show and will regret not selecting my work.

So, I dust off my little ego and get back to work. Lesson learned- if at first you don't succeed, continue your plans for world domination and add the One of a Kind Show to my every growing list of people to enslave first when I become ruler of the world!

Homecoming Dance

Monday:
Ray & Me- "You should go to the dance."
Tia-"I'm not going to any dance. I don't know these people. I don't even like dancing."

Tuesday:
Ray & Me- "You should go to the dance."
Tia- "Maybe I'll go. I don't know. No one I know is going. I'm not going to do anything there. I'll just be bored."

Wednesday:
Ray & Me- "You should go to the dance."
Tia-"I don't have anything to wear and I don't like my hair. Can't I just stay home? Anyway, it's just a stupid dance. No one is going to be there."

Thursday:
Ray & Me- "You should go to the dance."
Tia- "Why? Why is this so important to you? I'm not going to have any fun. You can make me go if you want to. I'm just going to stand in a corner the whole night and just wait until you come pick me up. I'm not dancing."

Friday:
Tia- "Can you give me a ride to the dance?"
Ray & Me- "You're going to the dance?!"


Tia went to her first school dance this month. It was the traditional homecoming dance. She had attended the school game earlier that afternoon before coming home to change for the dance. She left the game early because by the time the score got to 12-them, 0-us, she said there was just no need in seeing the home team get creamed any further.

Below are a couple of pictures I took of her before we drove her to the dance.

We gave her the 'sex talk' for about the hundredth time and as always, she asked that we please not have that talk with her again. As we pulled up to the school, Ray rolled down the windows and we blasted some awesome party music. (Hey, a girl has to arrive in party style!)

The party was from 8 pm to 11pm. Ray and I went and saw a movie while Tia was enjoying her party. After we left the theater we cruised around town and then took our time driving to her school. It was crazy when we got there. Parents were parking their cars and pacing the sidewalk and as soon as the gym door opened, they would run up to escort their daughters and sons back to the cars. It was like they didn't trust them. Wow, talk about over-protective! We chilled out on one of the side streets and waited for Tia to text me when she was ready.

Tia said the party was 'floss-some'! (that's Tia language meaning the party was great). There was fog machines and strobe lights. She said at several points throughout the dance it got really hot in the gym and caused the fire alarms to go off, but it didn't stop the party- they all just started dancing to the beat of the alarm!

She was on the dance floor the whole night and three different boys asked to dance with her. And I guess at some point a few girls climbed onto the speaker/lighting system and started dancing on top of it. (As a mom I should be appalled by such actions, but as her aunt, I am highly disappointed that she did not participate in such activities.)


Tia is not looking forward to the Winter Formal in January. (She appears to be allergic to dressing up all cute and girly.) And she has already put her foot down on the whole Sadie's Dance once I explained to her that she has to ask a guy out. I think if I threaten her with the thought of asking one of her guy friends for her she'll change her mind.

Navy Birthday Ball 2009

On October 10, 2009, we celebrated the 234th Birthday of the United States Navy. As always, we celebrated with a huge party. The Navy Ball took place in Pleasanton, CA. Below are pictures from the event:

Me, in my fancy dress, trying to suck it in so I won't bust a seam.

(Our attempt diet before the ball didn't go as well as we had planned).
Showing off the flowers that Ray bought for me. He is such a gentleman!

The happy couple.

(Not the best picture of us, but it's the only one we got on our camera. This was taken around 11pm. Will just have to wait for the professional pictures to come in and I will post a copy of that for you all to see.)

Rich, one of the civilian guys, (retired Army), that Ray works with, dancing with his date.

Another person that Ray works with. Rob and his wife.

Mark and Lisa. Mark is one of the chiefs at Ray's command. Lisa is our current Ombudsman.

(FYI- Mark is Navy, of course. But Lisa is retired Army. You should see the fights that ensue.)

Our next door neighbors, Kristi and Seth

(Don't worry, Seth is happy in this picture. That is just how he smiles)

We were serenaded by the lovely sounds of the USS Hornet Blue Angels Singers. They sung all the military classics. Ray and I so wished Grandma Ann was with us. We knew she would have been singing along and maybe even dancing along to some of the tunes.

It was such a wonderful evening. The food was good. The speeches were short. The music was nice and the drinks were free,(thanks Rich!). Can't wait for the Submarine Ball in April!

First Day of School?????

In case you haven't heard, my beautiful young niece, Tia is now living with Ray and I. Why? Well, she asked and we said yes. It actually works out well. Ray feels better having someone here to help me when he is on travel and I feel better not being alone should something happen. ( It seems that most things that 'happen' to me occur sometime between midnight and 4:oo am.)

Anyway, little miss Tia is here and today she started her first day at her new school. I got up early in the morning to help get her out of bed, out of the mirror and out the door. I even walked her to the bus stop here on base. (All high school students have to either get a ride to school from their parents or take the public transit). I was very tempted to ride with her to school and do an 'Edward'- wait for her outside of every class.

As it were, her first day of school had a very 'Twilight' feel to it. Everyone was curious about her coming from Phoenix, Az., asking her why she moved, how could she stand the heat, and did she like California. A girl came up to her and made friends with her very quickly, letting her know who is dating who and where all the cute boys can be found. Then, in French class, she was given a french name which sounds just about the same in English- Isabella. (Wait, it gets creepier). In Biology, she has an empty seat next to her in class and couldn't find out from anyone if someone is suppose to sit next to her. Ooooooh, the suspense is building.

I told her that if a fine looking Native American boy pulls up after school on a motorcycle and calls himself Jacob, hop on and don't look back! (She is a Jacob fan.)

Tia is an amazing writer. She has already written one book, although it's still in the rough draft stage. She has written several songs and can draw as well. I told her that she should start her own blog about the similarities between her life and the 'Twilight' series, but she is reluctant to do so. Therefore, I have written this blog entry to let everyone know about her Twilight-esque life, thus far.

I'll make sure to keep you posted on any signs of Edward or the 'cold ones' nearby.

San Jose Liver Walk

On September 12th joined in the American Liver Foundation Liver Life Walk in San Jose. I was invited to be a guest speaker at the walk. I also had my own team- the Mattingly Miracle Team, that participated in the walk. Below are some pictures from the walk along with a copy of the speech I gave.

I have been asked to speak again at the Liver Life Walk in San Francisco on October 10th.

Chilling out with my peeps

Telling my story before the walk

Walking, of course!

These are the T-shirts that were given out to the walkers. My shirt was given to those who either are living with liver disease or who had a liver transplant.

Our friend, Seth, helped carry our team sign which was a big poster of John with the words, 'Mattingly Miracle' on the left side and 'For John' on the right side.

Here is a copy of the speech that I gave:

Hello everyone. My name is Michelle Mattingly and I would like to share with you the reason I am here today.

On August 3, 2008 I walked into Stanford Hospital with what I though was a stomach flu. At the time I was 6 months pregnant and everything was going okay. We only came to the labor and delivery as a precaution. If I had not been pregnant I would not have gone to the hospital at all.

In the next 24 hours I would slip into a coma as my liver began to shut down. I had acute liver failure. My life and the life of my unborn child was slowly ticking away. My husband was advised to start planning funeral arrangements for us. On August 8th, with only hours remaining, a rare back-to-back C-section and liver transplant was performed to save both our lives.

Our son, John, fought for the next six months outside the womb, but lost his battle in February of this year.

Today, I walk in memory of John, in thankfulness of the doctors who had the courage to do the impossible and for the hope that one day we can know the answers that will help save another mother from facing what I have gone through.

Despite all the testing done, to this day, my doctors still do not know why my normal healthy liver suddenly failed. The reason is because there are more questions then answers when it comes to liver disease.

Too much stigma, stereotypes and myths surround liver disease. And for far too long these misconceptions have gone on unchallenged. This has resulted in lack of funding, inadequate research, and poor public knowledge of liver health.

Liver disease should no longer be hidden in the background like a dirty little secret. Through the American Liver Foundation we can finally push this disease to the forefront of medical research and bring an end to the over 30 million Americans suffering from this disease.

Although the numbers of those suffering from liver disease are staggering, the most important numbers are the ones I see before me today. Survivors, family, friends, medical professionals- it is your numbers and your support of the American Liver Foundation that will help bring hope those who continue to suffer in silence.

Many people have causes that they care about. But it takes a special kind of courage and determination to take action for what you believe in. I want to thank you all for the courage and strength to be here today. It is an honor walking with you. Thank you.

What You've Been Waiting For...

Thank you all for waiting so patiently for me to update you on what has been going on with CPS surrounding Elektra.

As many of you may know from the stories on the news or from personal experience- CPS can be like a never ending tunnel of despair that once your family is sucked into the system, there seems to be no way out. CPS is infamous for destroying families and damaging children for life. We did not want that to happen to our family.

For that reason we took the best option available to us at this time, which was to give legal guardianship of Elektra to Ray‘s sister and brother-in-law, Corinna and Mike. Doing this closed the CPS case without having to go into a long drawn out legal battle (which we can not afford at this time). It also allows Corinna to get back to her family and Elektra to get some normality back in her life.

Corinna has already been living here taking care of Elektra so that she would not have to be in a foster home during all this. They have formed a wonderful bond and Corinna and Mike love her very much and will keep her close to both sides of our families. So, Elektra now lives with them on the east coast.

Ray is working with the Navy to get his next permeate duty station as close to Elektra as possible. That way we will continue to be a part of our daughter’s life. Elektra is our daughter and she knows and will always know that we are her parents.

I will let you know now, that I do not wish this situation on even my worst enemy. Ray and I have cried over this more times then we care to count. Our house is empty of the sound of small giggles and tiny feet running around. Instead of planning family outings, we are now trying to find ways to avoid places with too many kids because it’s just so painful. This is the greatest heartbreaking sacrifice we've had to make and I pray that no one EVER has to go through what we have gone through.

We both try to keep positive, reminding ourselves that by making this decision, we have saved Elektra from being yet another victimized and damaged child - the product of the CPS system. We would do anything to protect her smile, her laugh, her love of life. We don’t want anyone or anything to change the beautiful person that she is.

We will do our best visit her now as often as time and finances allow. Between flights to see her, we will use email, webcam, letters and packages to keep in touch with Elektra and let her know that we love and miss her so much.

Now to clear things up for you, the CPS case has been closed, but there is still an open investigation on us on the criminal end. I really don’t have any other details about that at this time. Ray and I continue to do research and collect information so when we can afford to, we can get Elektra back. The medical truth is out there and we will find it. It’s just going to take time and money.

Again, thank you all for your patience in this matter. Thank you for your prayers, positive energy and continued support. We love you all.

The Promise Made

Shortly after John was born, we made a promise to our kids that we would take them to Disneyland. In fact, Ray was looking at Disney hotel packages the day before John went to the hospital.

So on September 16th we went to Disneyland. It was Ray, Corinna, Elektra, Mimz, (aka- Linda), and myself.

Elektra had so much fun! And it was wonderful to just forget about all that has happened this year and just allow ourselves to be absorbed into the magic that is Disney.
What follows are a ton of pictures from our three days at Disneyland. Enjoy!

Road Trip!

The Lunch of Champions!

Corinna and her feet on the dashboard- so typical!


Elektra and her feet on the back seat- so very typical!
(that's the headphones to my IPod wrapped around her foot.)

Say Cheese!

Elektra got to meet so many celebrities at Disneyland and California Adventure.

Here she is getting an autograph from Aurora (aka Sleeping Beauty)

Who's the fairest of them all?

Chatting with Cinderella

Having princess time with Mulan

Oh no! Don't let her near the puppies!

Entering the land of fairies

Elektra could not believe she was meeting Tinkerbell in person. She was speechless!

Hey, what you looking at?

Ray and Corinna getting ready to scream on the Screamer.

Elektra on the new Toy Story ride at California Adventure

Our score after the game. I'm player 1, Elektra is player 2. Not too bad baby girl.

A hug from Woody's girlfriend from Toy Story 2

California Adventure has a Pixar Water Parade. Each float and character has something that
shoots water out into the audience. It was so cool!

On the very last night in Disneyland, Elektra finally got to meet someone she has been waiting her whole life to see, Minnie Mouse.

We kept our promise, John.

You can see more Disneyland pictures on Corinna's blog: http://gettingusedtoflorida.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2009-09-01T00%3A00%3A00-04%3A00&updated-max=2009-10-01T00%3A00%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=3