The Test

May 15, 2006

I wake up feeling really excited about going in to get my pregnancy test. I called the Naval Hospital and they said to come in any time for the test. So, off I was to the hospital like a little kid going to the candy store.

The short stroll from our house to the hospital was wonderfully peaceful. The security guard at the gate was very friendly and the almost zero traffic made it easy for me to cross the major street into the hospital. In no time I found my way to the medical lab and cheerfully handed my I.D. to the nurse. She took it, typed in a few words and numbers on here computer, handed the card back to me and walked away. She returned a few seconds later with a plastic cup and simply said, "Take this cup into the restroom on your right, follow the instructions and bring it back here when you're done."

Okay, a urine test. I could do this. I was actually expecting a blood test, but figuring how much I hate needles I took this as a great blessing and proceeded to the restroom. To this day I think I am the only person that finds humor in the fact that in the womens restroom they have urine collection instructions for both women and men posted.

So, with the job done, (and yes, I did follow the instructions), I headed back to the front desk and stood there quite proudly with my cup. The nurse finished checking in another patient and then looked up at me. "Just place the cup in the bin over there, someone will call you with the results."

That's it? That's all there is? I got all dressed up, walked up hill to the hospital, and took the stairs up to the lab just for some chick dressed in white to tell me to toss my efforts in a bin and walk away? Don't I get a lollipop or something? When you give blood you always get one of those stickers that says, 'I Gave Blood Today'. Well, where is my sticker? I should have one saying, 'I Gave Pee Today', or ' I Just Peed for My Baby'.

I'm not asking for a standing ovation because I remembered to flush, but at least give me something in return for my efforts. At least have a jar of hard candy or tootsie rolls next to the pee bin. Such a simple gesture can make a world of difference.

Despite the lack of stickers and candy to recognize my accomplishment, I obeyed the nurse and went on my merry little way. Who knew that this small uneventful moment would lead to great excitement and even greater concern.