A Stranger Calls

On an ordinary day at the Mattingly's, a stranger arrived in our mailbox tucked between a Macy's bill and a Domino's Pizza flyer. His name is Stanley and he had just flew in from Washington state. He was here on a mission- to eat our food, trash our house and party like an animal. (I won't even began to tell you the stuff he did in Washington with Mike's family. Let's just say there was alcohol and strippers involved.)

Anyway, we were told by the note that came attached to Stanley that we had to show him a good time here in California and in a few days kick him out of our house so he could freeload on the next family member. We were then told to send pictures to Florida as proof of his wild behavior. 'Supposedly',these pictures were going to an elementary school as a class project, but my sources tell me that the address we sent the pictures to was actually the Florida Bureau of Investigation where they have been building a case against Stanley for some time now. He is wanted in several states which now include Washington, California and Arizona.

Hopefully the pictures we took will help the authorities catch this crazy freeloader and make him do some community service to pay back for all the trouble he has caused. If you ever see this guy in your mailbox, do not let him in your house! I'm still pulling pieces of toilet tissue out of our trees and gutter.