A Birth Story

Despite the efforts of the doctors at Madigan, I did not get induced on January 16th. After doing a lot of research and a lot more praying, Ray and I decided it would be best if we allowed our daughter to be born naturally.

On the evening of January 19th I started feeling some “serious” contractions. Ray tried to help me keep my mind off the pain. We watched a movie, joked around and enjoyed a great dinner. We both felt it was best for me to get as much sleep as I could before the contractions started getting really intense, so we went to bed early.

Around 6am the contractions were coming harder and closer together. I woke up Ray and he started timing them for me. They were seven to ten minutes apart. Madigan was at least on hour away on a good day, so we decided it was best to get ready and go.

The bags were packed and taken to the car. The baby car seat had already been installed a week before. We loaded the last minute items and Ray put a towel on my seat, “just in case”. Soon we were on our way.

During the drive there, Ray continued to time my contractions. By the time we reached Madigan parking lot my contractions were four minutes apart. We took our time getting to the Labor & Delivery wing. We had took the advice of our doctor and pre-registered the week before so that all we had to do was just show up and have the baby.

I was taken to triage and placed on monitors. My vitals were taken and as I laid there on the bed, Ray and I began using the breathing and touch-release exercises we learned in childbirth class. One of the doctors came in and explained some of the things that may go on during labor and the usual standard of care in each situation.

Soon I was taken to my birthing room.

“Hello Mrs. Mattingly. I’m going to me your nurse this morning. After I ask you a few questions and enter some information into the computer I’m going to start your IV.”

After answering her questions she started prepping me for the IV.

“Don’t worry Michelle, this will only take a minute.”

She stabbed me five times before she finally called in a specialist.

“So Michelle, what would you like for pain relief?”

“Oh, I would like IV meds please.”

“Well the problem with IV meds is that during the last couple of hours when the pain is the most intense, that’s the time we have to stop giving you meds through your IV so it won’t transfer to the baby.”

“I’m well aware of that. I would just prefer to have IV drugs. I really don’t want an epidural.”

“Is this your first child, Michelle?”

“Yes.”

“Well, most first time parents come in thinking they are not going to get an epidural. They always change their mind later.”

“Well, I am not like most first time moms”, I whispered under my breath.

Ray stood by me and protected me. He was my advocate, making sure that my needs were met and that nothing was done to me that I didn’t want done. This really ticked off my nurse. At one point when everyone had stepped out of the room my nurse approached me.

“Michelle, your husband feels very strongly about you not getting a epidural and not having a catheter.”

“Yes, it’s because I don’t like either one. I’ve had two spinal taps so I sort of know what an epidural feels like. I’ve also had problems in the past regarding catheters, so I’d rather avoid one when possible.”

“Has anyone ever hurt you, Michelle?”

“No.”

“Do you feel threaten of feel you would be threaten or hurt if you speak for yourself?”

“No. I speak for myself and when I can’t, my husband speaks for me.”

“He is very strong-minded and forceful.”

“He has to be. We’ve been through a lot during this pregnancy.”

“And this is your first child ever?”

“Yes.”

“And for your husband, does he have any other children.”

“No. This is a first for both of us.”

“And throughout this pregnancy no one close to you has physically hurt you or said anything that made you feel threatened?”

“No. My husband does not abuse me!”

Just then Ray came back into the room.

In a short time another doctor came in the check my cervix. Despite all my contracting I was only one centimeter dilated. But I wasn’t worried and neither was the doctor. She told me that my cervix might need a little help getting started and suggested a balloon method. (I’m not going into details about how this works. If you really want to know just do a Google search on methods of inducing.)

At some point the baby’s heart rate dropped. I only knew this because all at once five nurses came running in and started pushing me every which way in order to get her heart rate back up. Her heart did get back to normal. However, the doctor was very concerned.

The hours passed quickly. Soon our friends David and Elsa arrived to keep us company. Our dear friend Chaplin Wheaton also joined us for a little while.

As the day went on I had only progressed two centimeters. The baby’s heart rate was starting to do some funny things. The doctor suggested I get an epidural because the chance of getting a C-section was becoming greater and greater for me. After talking alone with Ray we decided that it would be best to have one now while everything was still calm then to try and have one in the midst of an emergency.

Let me tell you right now. I HATE EPIDURALS!!!!! I have never felt something so uncomfortable in my life. And I’m not just talking about the five times that the specialist had to stab me in the back before she found a good spot. The best way I can describe an epidural is it feels like your body is going into a coma and there is nothing you can do to stop it. I couldn’t even feel myself breathing. I’ll take the pains of labor over an epidural any day!

Now, laying there almost completely motionless we waited.

The doctor came in and explained that it was getting harder to get a good reading of the baby’s heartbeat, so she had one of the nurses come in and try to insert an internal monitor. My water broke and it was discovered that the baby had already had a bowl movement. The doctor waited to see if my labor would start to progress more now that my water had broke.
However, not long after she left the room she came running back in followed by four other nurses.

“Michelle, we need you to turn over. The baby’s heart rate has dropped.”

She yelled for more help as about three other nurses came running in. I was placed on my side. I was given a caffeine shot to wake the baby. I was placed on my other side and then asked to get up on all fours. But nothing was working.

“Michelle, her heart rate is not going up. We have to do an emergency C-section.”

This was one of my greatest fears and biggest nightmare all through my pregnancy. And now here I was living within this nightmare with no way of waking up from it.

Still on all fours my bed was rushed to the operating room just down the hall. Ray tried to follow, but someone had grab him by the shoulder and asked him to put on some scrubs.

The O.R. was filled with nurses moving quickly to get everything assembled for the operation. The doctor in charged explained what was going on and what would soon be happening. They nowlaid me on the operating table. I was given a oxygen mask and told to just concentrate on breathing.

The baby’s heart rate went back up. The doctor announced this to everyone in the room. She advised everyone to slow there pace a little and proceed as a normal C-section. Stronger medication was starting to be pumped into my epidural.

I knew that most C-sections took place with the mother still being fully awake for the operation. In this situation the husband can be with his wife sitting next to her head and keeping her company. I hoped this would be the case for us. I was so scared and I wanted Ray with me more then anything at that moment.

Suddenly the baby’s heart rate dropped again. I looked to the side just in time to see the heart monitor show her hear rate rapidly drop from 130 bpm to 40 bpm. The medicine in my epidural had not yet kicked in. But there was no time.

“I’m sorry Michelle, but we are going to have to put you under.”

Two nurses came over , grabbed my arms and strapped them down quickly. Someone was flushing medication into my IV with great speed. It hurt so bad, I tried to scream. But I never got a chance to.

(I would be told later that during this time Ray waited in the birthing room all dressed in his scrubs hoping to join me during the operation. After some time had passed he realized that something was wrong. No one was coming to get him. Elsa said that Ray’s face had a look on it that she had never seen before. “I didn’t know what to say or do, Michelle. No one would tell your husband what was going on. Suddenly Ray just got down on his knees and started praying”.)

“Mrs. Mattingly. Mrs. Mattingly, wake up. Congratulations. Your baby is fine. She is nice and healthy. She is with your husband now. Your husband is very anxious to see you. He has been asking about you ever since we took you back here. I have never seen a man so committed to his wife's care and safety like that. You two are very lucky to have each other.”

My bed was being wheeled back into the birthing room. As we turned the corner into the room there was Ray standing there just beaming with a little bundle held close to his heart.

The next few hours were mostly a blur. I do remember Elsa and David saying their goodbyes to us. I also remember that sometime during the night we were transferred to another room.

As soon as the drugs wore off I got to hold our little girl and feed her for the first time. I must make a confession- I didn’t exactly bond with her the moment I saw her. I fell in love with her instantly. But it was strange. I knew this was my daughter but it didn’t feel like she was mine. One moment I was pregnant, I was put to under and when I woke up I was told I was no longer pregnant. I cried. I cried over the lost of a birth experience I felt cheated out of. And I cried again when Ray told me why I ended up getting an emergency C-section.

“Honey, the reason why her heart rate kept dropping was because the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice. The more your contractions started pushing her down the more she was being strangled. The part of the umbilical cord that was around her neck was the part closest to the placenta wall which would have ripped out and caused massive bleeding. Both of you were in danger. There was no other way she could have been born.”

During the next few days Ray and I would be tested as new parents. Low blood sugar would send Elektra to the NICU and it would take a fight on our part to get her out of there. The NICU wanted to keep her for weeks or months if necessary until their doctors felt satisfied with her blood sugar level. Unfortunately there was a new doctor overseeing the NICU every shift. So what satisfied one doctor didn’t satisfy the next. Eventually we had to stand our ground for our child’s sake. When they realized we weren’t backing down or leaving the hospital without our baby, they called in a lactation specialist and it was discovered that the problem was that her jaws just wasn’t strong enough yet to fully breastfeed and that I would have to pump for awhile.

Now we are finally home and settling into life as new parents. Ray will be leaving to go back to Hawaii soon. And shortly after, I will be moving back to Arizona. When Ray finishes his sea time our goal is to have him spend the rest of his shore duty working in the Phoenix area.

Depending of his sub’s schedule I hope Elektra and I will get to spend time with Ray in Hawaii during his birthday and for the Fourth of July.

Right now Ray is spending every moment he can with his daughter, no matter how short the time may. It is sad to know that Ray won’t get a chance to see the look on his mom’s face when she first lays eyes on her new grandchild. And he will miss the honor of introducing Elektra to her Godparents. This will be a painful separation for us but it is the best and only option we have right now. I’ve promised to fill his email box weekly with tons of pictures of our beautiful baby girl. I know that in the end, Elektra won’t remember the seven months when her father was away; only the many years to come when her father will always be there for her.